170 Spook-tacular Halloween Jokes and Puns for Kids
Last Updated: September 23, 2025 by Michelle
Halloween is spooky, but thanks to our Halloween jokes and puns, it can also be hilarious. I’ve never been one for getting spooked. I’ll leave the scary stuff to the experts and go for jokes and puns instead any day! These laughs are great for kids, which might be helpful if you’ve got a scaredy cat or just want to make sure things don’t get too scary. Try out the lighter side of Halloween by cracking jokes instead of looking for frights.
We have jokes about skeletons, witches, monsters, vampires, and all your other favorite Halloween staples. There are even dad jokes and knock-knock jokes in this huge collection of Halloween jokes and puns. Start with our best jokes or jump to the section you’re most interested in. Hang on to a few of these for when you get your first trick or treaters of the night!
Best Halloween Jokes | Trick or Treat | Pumpkin & Jack-o'-lantern | Skeleton | Witch | Ghost & Ghouls | Monsters | Vampires | Knock Knock Jokes | Mummy | Zombie | Puns | Dad Jokes | Kids
Best Halloween Jokes for Kids
These are our very favorite Halloween jokes for kids. You never know what you might find in this section, but they’ll be sure to make you laugh.
Which monster plays tricks on Halloween? Prank-enstein!
Why are graveyards so noisy? Because of all the coffin.
Why did the skeleton show up to the party by himself? He had no body to go with.
Knock, knock! Who's there? Witch! Witch who? Witch one of you will give me lots of Halloween candy?
What is a vampire's favorite ice cream flavor? Vein-illa.
Why was the Jack-o'-lantern afraid? It had no guts.
What do witches put on their bagels? Scream cheese.
What is a mummy’s favorite music genre? Wrap.
How do you make a skeleton laugh? Tickle his funny bone.
What does a skeleton say before dinner? Bone appetit!
How do you make a witch itch? Take away the W.
How do you know when a ghost is sad? He starts boo-hooing.
Which vampire is best at math? Count Dracula.
What’s the name for witches who live together? Broom-mates.
What do you say when you meet a two-headed monster? Hello, hello!
Knock, knock. Who's there? Wanda. Wanda who? Wanda go out trick or treating with me?
What is a ghost's favorite meal? Spook-ghetti.
What is a baby ghost's favorite game? Peek-a-boo!
Knock knock! Who's there? Olive! Olive who? Olive your Halloween costume!
Trick or Treat Halloween Jokes
Trick or treating is a staple of Halloween, but it can also be funny. Check out these trick or treat Halloween jokes before you go door-to-door yourself!
Where do ghosts go to trick or treat? Dead ends.
What do witches put on to go trick or treating? Mas-scare-a.
What does a turkey dress up as for Halloween? A gobblin'!
What do ghosts hand out to trick or treaters? Booberries.
Which Halloween candy is never on time for the party? Choco-LATE!
What do owls say when they go trick or treating? Happy Owl-oween!
What do birds say on Halloween? Trick or tweet!
What did the fisherman say on Halloween? Trick or trout!
Who does Frankenstein go trick or treating with? His ghoul-friend.
Pumpkin and Jack-o'-lantern Jokes for Halloween
Pumpkins are fun to carve, but they can also be just plain funny thanks to these pumpkin and jack-o’-lantern Halloween jokes.
What's the best thing to put into a pumpkin pie? Your teeth!
What did the pumpkin say when it was feeling queasy? I’m not feeling so gourd.
What do you get when you divide your Jack-o'-lantern's circumference by its diameter? Pumpkin-pi!
Why was the Jack-o'-lantern forgetful? Because he's empty-headed.
Where does a pumpkin preach on Sundays? From a pulp-it.
Who helps the little pumpkins cross the road safely? The crossing gourd.
How do you fix a broken Jack-o'-lantern? With a pumpkin patch.
What do you call a pumpkin that’s good at sports? A jock-o’-lantern.
What does a pumpkin like to read? Pulp fiction.
Need a pumpkin to draw these jokes onto for the trick-or-treaters? Print one of our pumpkin templates.
Skeleton Halloween Jokes for Kids
Whether you’re in touch with your funny bone or not, these skeleton Halloween jokes will split your sides.
Why can't skeletons play music at a church? They have no organs.
What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? Spare ribs.
What is a skeleton’s go-to meal at a restaurant? Spare ribs.
When is a skeleton joke bad? When you don't find it humerus.
Why are skeletons so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin!
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He didn't have the guts.
What did the skeleton say to the bartender? I'll have two beers and a mop!
What musical instrument does a skeleton play? The trom-bone.
What do you call a skeleton with no pals? Bone-ly.
Why didn't the skeleton go to school? His heart wasn't in it.
Why do skeletons have low self-esteem? They have no body to love.
What do old skeletons complain about? Aching bones.
What’s a skeleton’s favorite plant? A bone-zai.
What is a skeleton's favorite instrument? The xyla-bone.
Who won the skeleton beauty contest? No body.
Why did the skeleton cross the road? To go to the body shop.
Check out our full collection of skeleton puns and jokes!
Spooky Halloween Jokes about Witches
You better be careful telling these Halloween jokes about witches. If they’re not funny enough you might just get hexed!
What do witches ask for at hotels? Broom service!
What sound do witches make when they eat breakfast cereal? Snap, Cackle & Pop!
How does a witch send a package? Hex-press delivery.
What does a witch use to do her hair? Scare-spray!
What do you call a witch who goes to the beach? A sand-witch.
What does a witch use to call her friends? A spell-phone.
Why was the broom late? It over swept.
Like witches? Try coloring them with our witch coloring pages.
Ghost and Ghoul Halloween Jokes for Kids
These ghost and ghoul Halloween jokes won’t disappear from your memory any time soon. They’re here to haunt future Halloweens as well.
What is a ghost's nose full of? Boooooogers!
What happened to the man who didn't pay his exorcist? The house was repossessed.
Why are ghosts so bad at lying? Because you can see right through them!
Why couldn't the ghost see its mom and dad? Because they were trans-parents!
How do ghosts keep in shape? Regular exorcise.
What position does a ghost play in hockey? Ghoulie.
Where do ghosts like to travel on vacation? The Dead Sea!
Where do baby ghosts go during the day? Day-scare centers!
What do ghosts use to wash their hair? Sham-BOO.
What did one ghost say to the other? Get a life!
What was the ghost's favorite ride at the fair? The scary-go-round! Or the rollerghoster!
What did the boy ghost say to the girl ghost? You sure are BOO-tiful!
What did the mummy ghost say to the noisy young ghost who kept interrupting? Spook when you're spooken to.
Why are ghosts so bad at lying? You can see right through them.
What do female ghosts use to do their makeup? Vanishing cream!
What do ghosts wear when their eyesight gets blurred? Spooktacles
What is a ghost's favorite dessert? BOO-berry pie.
What’s a ghost’s favorite type of car? A BOO-gatti.
What does a panda ghost eat? Bam-BOO!
What is a ghoul's favorite flavor? Lemon and slime.
Which ghost is the best dancer? The Boogie Man!
What room does a ghost not need? A living room.
What's a ghoul's favorite game on Halloween? Hide-and-ghost-seek.
Where do fashionable ghosts shop? BOO-tiques.
Where do ghosts buy their food? At the ghost-ery store!
Where does a ghost go on vacation? Mali-BOO.
Why did the policeman ticket the ghost on Halloween? It didn't have a haunting license.
Why do demons and ghouls hang out together? Because demons are a ghoul's best friend!
How do you know your friend is a ghost? You’ll know the moment they walk through the door.
Why do ghosts like to ride in elevators? It raises their spirits.
What is a ghost's favorite time of day? Moaning time.
Where do ghosts go on holidays? The BOO-hamas.
We clearly love ghosts here, so check out some of our favorites in our Ghost Coloring Pages!
Monster Halloween Jokes for Kids
Who’s your favorite Halloween monster? Whether you go for zombies, ghouls, or anything else, these monster Halloween jokes will get some big laughs.
What is a monster's favorite bean? A human bean.
How do monsters like their eggs? Terror-fried.
How do monsters tell their future? They read their horrorscope.
Why does Frankenstein's monster always finish his dinner first? Because he bolts it down.
What type of monster loves to dance? The boogieman.
What is a monster's favorite play? Romeo and Ghouliet.
Who do monsters buy cookies from? Ghoul scouts.
Why did the monster's mother knit him three socks for Halloween? She heard he grew another foot!
How do monsters take their eggs? Terri-fried.
Ready top decorate your house with monsters to celebrate the holiday? We have a full collection of Monster Coloring Pages.
Vampire Halloween Jokes for Kids
These vampire Halloween jokes will really get your blood pumping. Take a bite out of these silly jokes all about vampires.
How do you know vampires love baseball? They turn into bats every night.
What do you give a vampire when he's sick? Coffin-drops.
What would you get if you crossed a vampire and a teacher? Lots of blood tests!
What does a vampire call his car? A blood vessel.
How do vampires start their letters? "Tomb it may concern...""
What can you catch from a vampire in winter? Frostbite.
What's a vampire's favorite fruit? A necktarine!
What do you do if you want to learn more about Dracula? You join his fang club.
Why do people love being friends with Dracula? They know they can always Count on him.
What's a vampire's least favorite meal? A steak!
What is a vampire's favorite holiday besides Halloween? Fangs-giving!
Why don't vampires have more friends? Because they are a pain in the neck.
Where do vampires keep their money? The blood bank.
Why are vampires bad at art? They only draw blood.
Why do vampires need mouthwash? Because they have bat breath.
Where does Count Dracula usually eat his lunch? At the casketeria.
What is Dracula's favorite circus act? He always goes for the juggler!
What is a vampire's favorite fruit? A blood orange.
Knock-Knock Halloween Jokes for Kids
While you’re knocking on doors to trick or treat, pause to enjoy some of these knock-knock Halloween jokes for kids as well.
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Water! Water who? Water you dressed up as for Halloween?
Knock, knock! Who's there? Phillip! Phillip who? Phillip my bag with Halloween candy, please!
Knock, knock! Who's there? Boo! Boo who? Don't cry! It's just my Halloween costume!
Knock, knock! Who's there? Fangs. Fangs who? Fangs for letting me in!
Knock, knock Who's there? Handsome. Handsome who? Handsome candy to me, please.
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Bat! Bat who? Bless you.
Knock, knock! Who's there? Hans. Hans who? Hans off my candy!
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Witch! Witch who? Witch house is giving out the good candy?
Knock, knock! Who's there? Howl! Howl who? Howl you know unless you open the door!
Knock, knock! Who's there? Bee! Bee who? Bee-ware, there's a full moon this Halloween!
Knock, knock. Who's there? Ivana. Ivana who? Ivana suck your blood!
Knock, knock. Who wants more? Go here for our full collection of Halloween knock-knock jokes.
Mummy Halloween Jokes
Here are lots of giggle-worthy Mummy jokes to unwrap. They are sure to make everyone (even your own Mommy) smile this Halloween!
What do mummies use to help them hide? Masking tape.
Where do mummies like to go for a swim? The Dead Sea.
Why don't mummies have friends? Because they're too wrapped up in themselves.
What's a mummy's favorite food? Wraps.
What did the pyramid say to the other pyramid? I’ve lost my mummy!
What song does a mummy like to dance to? Walk Like An Egyptian.
What time do mummies eat their breakfast? Whenever they catch you.
Zombie Halloween Jokes
Use your braaaains to follow these spooky zombie Halloween jokes. They’ll have you in shambles.
What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house? Hope it's Halloween!
What time do zombies go to sleep? Whenever they're dead tired.
What's a zombie's favorite cereal? Rice Creepies.
Why don’t zombies like eating clowns? They taste funny.
Why did the zombie stay home from school? He felt rotten.
What is a zombie's favorite car? A monster truck.
Why do zombies all speak Latin? It’s a dead language.
Halloween Puns for Kids
What’s Halloween without a few PUN-ny jokes to lighten the mood? These Halloween puns will delight your kids.
Let's get this party startled!
Bat to the bone.
Trick or treat yo'self!
Creep it real.
Halloween's just not the same if I can't be-witch you.
Witch-ing you a Happy Halloween!
Halloween Dad Jokes
Okay, dads, these Halloween jokes are for you. Do your worst with these Halloween-themed dad jokes sure to make your whole family groan.
What is the name of a chicken that haunts your house? A poultrygeist.
What’s a ghost’s favorite soft drink? Mountain Boo.
What is a ghost's favorite theme park ride? Roller-ghost-ers.
What do you call a horse that you only see after dark? A night-mare.
What do skeletons say when they’re annoyed with each other? I’ve got a bone to pick with you.
What is a werewolf's favorite weekday? M-ooooooo-nday!
Funny Halloween Jokes for Kids
Here are a few more Halloween jokes that are great for kids. If you haven’t had enough laughs quite yet, these jokes are for you!
The maker of this product does not want it, the buyer does not use it, and the user does not see it. What is it? A coffin.
Why do ghosts refuse to shower? They only take BOO-ble baths.
Why are there fences around cemeteries? Because people are dying to get in!
What do you call wood when it's scared? Petrified!
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Twig! Twig who? Twig or tweat.
Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven eight nine!
When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat? If you are a mouse!
What does an evil hen lay? Deviled eggs.
What do you call two spiders that just got married? Newly-webbed.
Where do ghosts do their shopping? The ghost-ery store.
Who are the werewolf's cousins? The what-wolf, when-wolf, and the why-wolf!
Why did the cyclops give up teaching? He only had one pupil!
Why did the headless horseman go into business? He wanted to get ahead in life.
What goes around a haunted house and never stops? A fence.
More Ghoulish Giggles and Seasonal Smirks
If Halloween has you howling with laughter, don't stop there! Dive into a web of hilarity:
Halloween Coloring Pages and Activities
In search of the perfect Halloween entertainment for your little ones? Look no further!
