100 Best Funny Thanksgiving Jokes for the Whole Family

Last Updated: November 14, 2024 by Michelle

I love getting everyone together for Thanksgiving. It’s such a welcome break to the start of the cold winter season. But sometimes, I struggle to find things to say when my house is suddenly full of family. What should you say instead of Happy Thanksgiving? What about a turkey day joke? If you also need a little help breaking the ice on turkey day try out these funny Thanksgiving jokes that are great for the whole family.

What do you call an attractive pilgrim? A puri-ten! We’ll give you that one for free, but if you want more of our funny Thanksgiving jokes for kids and adults, you’ll need to keep reading and browse our full collection. We’ve got turkey dad jokes, Thanksgiving knock-knock jokes, turkey day jokes, Thanksgiving puns, and so much more.

From side-splitting jokes for kids to the corniest dad jokes, there's a hilarious Thanksgiving-themed quip for everyone! Get ready for groans, eye-rolls, and belly laughs with our fantastic collection of Thanksgiving jokes and puns.

Random Thanksgiving Joke 🦃

Ready for some random gravy? Say please, and you shall receive a perfectly groan-worthy Thanksgiving joke!

Scroll down to read all our kid-friendly jokes, or use these links to jump to a particular category.

Best Thanksgiving Jokes for Kids

These are THE best Thanksgiving jokes for kids, so good that they're hilariously bad. They're perfect for keeping the kids entertained during your family dinner.

Who’s the only one who isn’t hungry during Thanksgiving dinner? The turkey because he’s stuffed!

What's the number one key to a great Thanksgiving? A tur-key!

Why did the turkey get arrested? The police suspected fowl play.

Why did the cranberries turn red? Because they saw the turkey dressing!

Why is Thanksgiving such a clever holiday? Because it is in Know-vember.

What’s a sure sign that a turkey liked his dinner? He gobbles it up!

What did the pumpkin say after Thanksgiving? Good-pie everyone!

What happens if you’re too mean to the cranberries? You turn them into blueberries.

What happens if you eat too much at Thanksgiving? You get autumn-y ache!

What always comes at the end of Thanksgiving? The letter G.

Why was the turkey the band’s drummer? He had the drumsticks.

thanksgiving jokes kids with pie on face

Turkey Day Turkey Jokes

Gobble gobble gobble! Ready for some laughs? Don't hold back! Share these hilarious Thanksgiving turkey jokes with your family and friends as you gather for a tasty feast!

What is a turkey thankful for at Thanksgiving? Vegetarians!

If fruit comes from fruit trees, where does turkey come from? Poul-trees.

What do you call a running turkey? Fast food!

What is a turkey’s favorite type of glass to drink from? A goblet!

What did the turkey say to the hunter on Thanksgiving day? Quack, quack!

What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving? The turkey trot!

What does a turkey dress up as for Halloween? A gobblin'!

How did the turkey get home for Thanksgiving? She took the gravy train!

What is a turkey’s favorite weather? Fowl weather.

What do you call a turkey on the day after Thanksgiving? Lucky!

What do you call a rude turkey? A jerk-ey!

What does a one-legged turkey say? Wobble wobble!

What did the little turkey say to the big turkey bully? Peck on someone your own size!

Why can't you take a turkey to church? Because they use fowl language!

What do turkeys like to do in the summertime? Have peck-nics!

What sound does a turkey’s phone make when it rings? Wing wing!

What do you get when you cross an octopus with a turkey? Enough drumsticks for everyone!

What key won't open any doors? A tur-key!

thanksgiving jokes dog looking at turkey

Thanksgiving Dad Jokes

It’s time to embrace the cringe. Here's a ton of Thanksgiving dad jokes for 2024 that you can unleash on your family or impress your own dad with.

What did Han Solo say to Luke Skywalker on Thanksgiving? May the forks be with you.

What’s the best thing to wear for Thanksgiving? A nice har-vest.

What is the biggest difference between a turkey and a chicken? Chickens celebrate Thanksgiving!

What did the leftover turkey say? Make me a sandwich!

What did one turkey say to the other outside the bar? “Let’s get basted.”

What does a turkey say to the computer? "Google, Google, Google."

Who scared the cranberries? The booberries!

What did one autumn leaf say to another? I'm falling for you!

What did Dad serve for Thanksgiving dinner after accidentally sitting on the sweet potatoes? Squash.

What's the best way to stuff a turkey? Serve him lots of pizza and ice cream!

A shopper looking for a larger turkey asked a grocery store worker, "Do these small frozen turkeys get any bigger?" He replied, "No, they're dead."

What type of key doesn’t actually help you open any doors? A tur-key.

Will I eat leftovers for a week? I cran, and I will!

Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building? Yes, a building can't jump.

What did the salad say to the butter who kept making jokes? You're on a roll.

Why was the cornbread fired from his job? It was loafing around too much.

Knock Knock Thanksgiving Jokes for Kids

These classic knock-knock Thanksgiving jokes are perfect for unleashing on your friends and family during a pause in the conversation.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Ben! Ben who? Ben waiting for Thanksgiving all year!

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Dewey. Dewey who? Dewey have to sit at the kid’s table again?

Knock, knock. Who's there? Handsome. Handsome who? Handsome gravy to me, please.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Gwen. Gwen who? Gwen do we finally get to eat Thanksgiving dinner?

Knock, knock. Who's there? Tamara. Tamara who? Tamara we'll eat all these leftovers!

Knock, knock. Who's there? Dishes! Dishes who? Dishes a very bad Thanksgiving joke!

Knock, knock. Who's there? Butter. Butter who? Butter open up quick, I have a funny Thanksgiving joke to tell you!

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Arthur. Arthur who? Arthur any more mashed potatoes?

Knock, knock. Who's there? Gladys! Gladys who? Gladys finally Thanksgiving day!

Funny Thanksgiving Jokes About Pilgrims

Of course, we all know that Thanksgiving started with the pilgrims. So it's no surprise that they end up as the subject of a joke or two.

What is a pilgrim’s favorite type of music? Plymouth Rock.

If the pilgrims sailed on the Mayflower, then what boat does a teacher sail on? A scholar ship.

What does a Pilgrim call his best friend? My Pal-grim.

What is a pilgrim’s favorite subject in school? Pilgrammar.

Why did the Pilgrim eat turkey at the first Thanksgiving? They couldn't fit the moose in the oven.

What is the smallest unit of measurement pilgrims use? Pil-grams.

April showers bring May flowers. So what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims!

Funny Thanksgiving Jokes for Dinner

These corny Thanksgiving jokes are just perfect for casually weaving into your conversations at the dining table!

What time do families sit down to Thanksgiving dinner? Halftime.

What is a potato’s favorite TV show? Starch Trek.

Why shouldn't you sit next to a turkey at Thanksgiving dinner? Because he will gobble up all the food.

What is the best Meghan Trainor song to play while preparing Thanksgiving dinner? "All About That Baste."

What is a sweet potato’s favorite book? Green Eggs and Yam.

What do you get when you divide a pumpkin's circumference by its diameter? Pumpkin-pi!

When does a loaf of bread rise? When you yeast expect it.

Why was the Thanksgiving dinner so expensive? It had 24 carrots.

Which two animals get stuffed at Thanksgiving? Turkeys and people (after Thanksgiving dinner).

What did Dad say when everyone asked him to stop making Thanksgiving jokes? “I can’t quit cold turkey!”

What is a pumpkin's favorite sport? Squash.

What do you call a pretty pumpkin? Gourd-geous!

What job did the green beans audition for? The casse-role.

Who helps the little pumpkins cross the road safely? The crossing gourd.

Funny Thanksgiving Puns & One-liners

Are you feeling PUN-ny? Be sure to slip these funny Thanksgiving puns into the convo during your Thanksgiving feast!

Pie've been waiting all season for this!

Season’s eatings!

Nothing gets butter than this!

Feast your eyes on this!

Sweater later than never.

Corn you believe it?

What's cookin' gourd lookin'?

That's a-maize-ing!

Oh my gourd!

Season the day!

B-autumn's up!

You’re the gift that keeps on Thanks-giving.

Let's give 'em pumpkin to talk about!

More rolls? You butter believe it!

That’s how I casser-roll.

Have a gourd time this Thanksgiving!

Funny Quotes and Jokes About Thanksgiving

Have a giggle with loved ones by sharing the best funny Thanksgiving jokes and quotes.

Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough.
~ Oprah Winfrey

May your stuffing be tasty.
May your turkey be plump,
May your potatoes and gravy have nary a lump.
May your yams be delicious,
And your pies take the prize,
And may your Thanksgiving dinner stay off your thighs.

Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be in my pants.
~ Kevin James

“Home is people. Not a place.”
~ Robin Hobb

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.
~ Erma Bombeck

The ones who feel the most thankful during Thanksgiving are usually the ones who don't have to do any cooking.

At Thanksgiving, I count my blessings, one after another, as each of my relatives makes their way home.

“Let gratitude be the pillow upon which you kneel to say your nightly prayer."
~ Maya Angelou, “Celebrations: Rituals of Peace and Prayer”

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie.
~ Jim Davis

Thanksgiving Coloring Pages for Kids & Adults

I hope these Thanksgiving jokes brought a smile to your face! To keep the little ones entertained while you prepare for the holidays, take a look at our Thanksgiving coloring pages for a huge range of fun pictures to color in, plus our fun Thanksgiving word searches and Thanksgiving word scrambles.

Free Printable Turkey Templates

Whether you're a seasoned crafter or just looking for a fun Thanksgiving activity, our printable turkey templates are your go-to resource! Let's get started on crafting some feathered friends to adorn your holiday season! 🦃🍁🧡

More Thanksgiving Ideas & Seasonal Laughs

We hope you enjoyed our collection of Thanksgiving jokes and puns.If you're searching for the right words to express your gratitude this season, delve into these specially curated wishes and card messages on our site:

For those in the mood for more chuckles as the seasons change, we've got a treasure trove of humor:

Humor your father with our best (and worst) dad jokes.
Dive into the spooky humor of our Halloween Jokes.
Get entangled in laughter with our Spider Puns.
Unearth some bone-rattling fun with Skeleton Puns.
And as the snowflakes start to fall, warm up with our Winter Jokes, Snow Puns, and Christmas Jokes for Kids.