Funny Mother's Day Quotes & Card Messages
Last Updated: February 14, 2024
Looking for funny Mother's Day quotes and card messages to make your mom's special day even better? On this page, you'll find fabulously funny mom quotes to make you and your mother both laugh out loud. Find the perfect quote or saying to make your mom's day!
Not only is mom our greatest teacher in life, but she's also a free therapist. She'll dry our tears, cook us our favorite meals, and be there for us in good times and bad. Be sure to make her breakfast in bed, spoil her with flowers, shower her with heartfelt homemade gifts - and give her a big belly laugh with one of these funny mom quotes for Mother's Day!
These funny Mother's Day sayings are a great way to make a card personal and special for your mother, wife, partner, or friend. Use these links to jump to a particular section, or scroll down the page to view all the funny Mother's Day quotes and messages we've collected here to give your mom a giggle.
About Parenting | Mom's Always Right | Appreciation Quotes | for New Moms | by Famous Writers
Funny Mom Quotes About Parenting
Wondering what a good quote for Mother's Day is? You can't go wrong with these funny mom quotes about parenting. From celebrities to stay-at-home moms, every mother can relate to these lines.
Why don't kids understand that their nap is not for them but for us?
~ Alyson Hannigan
When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.
~ Nora Ephron
If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?
~ Milton Berle
Wine is necessary.
~ Kelly Clarkson
I always say if you aren't yelling at your kids, you're not spending enough time with them.
~ Reese Witherspoon
Stepping on a LEGO land mine at 4:30 a.m. while holding a baby and not falling should be an Olympic sport.
~ Unknown
Setting a good example for your children takes all the fun out of middle age.
~ William Feather
Once you're a mom, you're always a mom. It's like riding a bike. You never forget
~ Taraji P. Henson
If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says 'keep away from children'.
~ Susan Savannah
I love to play hide and seek with my kid, but some days my goal is to find a hiding place where he can't find me until after high school.
~ Unknown
Children are a great comfort in your old age - and they help you reach it faster, too.
~ Lionel
Motherhood is basically finding activities for children in three-hour pockets of time for the rest of your life.
~ Mindy Kaling
Funny Mom Quotes That Remind Us She's Always Right
Go on. Admit it. Your mother is always right. So is ours. So why not finally admit it by saying Happy Mother's Day in a unique way with these sayings?
In the end, mothers are always right. No one else tells the truth.
~ Randy Susan Meyers
If at first you don't succeed, try doing it the way Mom told you to in the beginning.
~ Unknown
My mother told me a million times not to exaggerate.
~ Unknown
Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.
~ Unknown
Life doesn't come with a manual. It comes with a mother.
~ Unknown
“There is no influence so powerful as that of the mother.”
~ Sara Josepha Hale
When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it's a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.
~ Erma Bombeck
OMG, My mother was right about everything!
~ Unknown
An ounce of mother is worth a ton of priest.
~ Spanish Proverb
Nothing is really lost until your mom can't find it.
~ Unknown
Funny Mother's Day Quotes to Show Your Appreciation of All She's Done
What is the best message for Mother's Day? How about something that lets her know you appreciate all she's done? No one works harder than Mom. She's been there for us through all our ups and downs. Let her know you recognize and appreciate her efforts with these funny mom quotes.
My favorite part about being a mom, I mean it's so corny, but no matter how tired you are, it's complete bliss. No matter what.
~ Khloé Kardashian
I can be covered in spit-up on a conference call while I'm pumping and that's okay because this is my perfect. It may not be somebody else's, but this is mine.
~ Kerry Washington
A mother is a person who, seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.
~ Tenneva Jordan
“The phrase ’working mother’ is redundant.”
~ Jane Sellman
The one thing children wear out faster than shoes is parents.
~ John J. Plomp
There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it.
~ Chinese Proverb
It's not easy being a mom. If it were easy, fathers would do it.
~ Betty White
Ma-ma does everything for the baby, who responds by saying Da-da first.
~ Mignon McLaughlin
The most expensive part of having kids is all the wine you have to drink.
~ Unknown
A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after.
~ Peter De Vries
Daughter: "Mom, what's it like to have the greatest daughter in the world?" Mom: "I don't know, honey, you'll have to ask Grandma."
~ Unknown
I've conquered a lot of things. Blood clots in my lungs - twice. Knee and foot surgeries. Winning grand slams being down match point, to name just a few, but I found out by far the hardest is figuring out a stroller!
~ Serena Williams
“If you’re a mom, you’re a superhero. Period.”
~ Rosie Pope
Parenting is f**king hard.
~ Adele
I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.
~ Phyllis Diller
When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out.
~ Erma Bombeck
Funny Mother's Day Quotes for New Moms
If you have a friend or loved one in your life who just became a mom, make her first Mother's Day extra special with one of these funny sayings. Throw in a cool quote about motherhood to let her know you're thinking of her at this momentous time in her life.
Motherhood changes everything.
~ Adriana Trigiani
Ah, babies! They're more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts.
~ Tina Fey
I used to give my friends who have kids advice all the time, and they would look at me like I had three heads. And then, when I had two, I literally apologized to all my friends.
~ Jennifer Lopez
Having a baby is just living in the constant unexpected, you never know when you're gonna get crapped on or when you're gonna get a big smile or when that smile immediately turns into hysterics.
~ Blake Lively
Sleep at this point is just a concept, something I’m looking forward to investigating in the future.
~ Amy Schumer
A toy Tamagotchi is more communicative than a human baby, OK? Because the toy will at least tell you when it poos.
~ Ali Wong
I met my match. She is very demanding, like, I can’t believe I have a boss. When my baby wanna eat, she wanna eat. It’s not like, “Oh three minutes?” No. Give me the milk now.
~ Cardi B
After we got home from the hospital, I didn't shower for a week, and then John and I were like, 'Let’s go out for dinner.’ I could last only about an hour because my boobs were exploding. When the milk first comes in, it’s like a tsunami. But we went, just to prove to ourselves that we could feel normal for a second.
~ Emily Blunt
You know your life has changed when… going to the grocery story by yourself is a vacation.
~ Unknown
Funny Mom Quotes by Famous Writers
We don't always know the best way to tell mom how much she means to us. So why not let these famous writers help us out? Check out these funny mom quotes from some of the best known authors of all time.
My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.
~ Mark Twain
God could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers.
~ Rudyard Kipling
When a man who is drinking neat gin starts talking about his mother he is past all argument.
~ C. S. Forester
It's a funny thing about mothers... Even when their own child is the most disgusting little blister you could ever imagine, they still think that he or she is wonderful.
~ Roald Dahl
All mothers are mothers of great people, and it is not their fault that life later disappoints them.
~ Boris Pasternak
I am sure that if the mothers of various nations could meet, there would be no more wars.
~ E.M. Forster
Mothers are all slightly insane.
~ J.D. Salinger
All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That’s his.
~ Oscar Wilde
Whatever else is unsure in this stinking dunghill of a world a mother's love is not.
~ James Joyce
More Happy Mother's Day Quotes, Messages, and Poems
I hope you enjoyed these funny mom quotes for Mother's Day. Here are some other Mother's Day pages you might like:
Happy Mother's Day Messages
Mother's Day Quotes
Funny Mother's Day Quotes
Mother-Daughter Quotes
Mother's Day Sayings
Bible Verses about Mothers
Short Mother's Day Poems
Funny Mother's Day Poems
Christian Mother's Day Poems
Happy Mother's Day Images
Mother's Day Messages for Friends
Mother's Day Messages for Your Wife
Mother's Day Prayers
Mother's Day Gifts Your Mom Will *Love*
Make your mom a beautiful personalized Mother's Day gift to show her how much you love her.
